An Introduction to Anal Sex: Anal Sex Tips for Beginners!

Updated: Jun 14

Introduction to Anal Sex

It’s often portrayed as uncomfortable, painful, submissive, or slutty. However, anal sex can be extremely pleasurable and exciting for people and partners to engage in when incorporated into a healthy sex life.

This article is geared to any person regardless of gender and sexual orientation because anal sex is for anyone and everyone. So let’s get started with your beginner’s guide to anal sex.

Open and Honest Communication

We believe the most important thing is open and honest communication in all that we do. So obviously this includes when we are about to explore our most intimate parts. We prefer kind and gentle communication that includes asking as opposed to telling. This should be enjoyable for everyone involved. Being open and honest, and having great communication will only help improve every aspect of this experience.

Always ask your partner what they’d like to try. Determine if the request or desire or reciprocated, and then begin engaging in the most sensual sexual experiences of your life. Always communicate with your partner before, during and after sex because it only helps makes things better. You can easily determine what you and your partner like and dislike.

Preparation and Toys

Set the mood. Get the lube. Explore!

We always believe in setting the mood. This could be with music, candles, incense of some kind or just a great setting/location. Make sure the mood is just right for everyone involved.

Never go right for the experience. Enjoy the lead up to everything you are about to enjoy. Understand that you are about to explore another person’s body in a way that you have not before. Appreciate that thought, and give your partner every part of your being in that moment.

Always stimulate your partner before engaging in anal sex like you normally would. When the time is right, begin by applying lubricant around the anus and on the penis or toy. We always have our favorite lubricant (hint: Coconut Oil- all natural and works like a charm- Not with latex and silicone).

Warm your partner up by using a finger or two and then proceed to an anal toy or penis. Go slow, and communicate with your partner. Try Alora's Butt Plugs in three different sizes to get you warmed up.

Starting Slow and Steady

Anal sex for the first time is not easy for everyone. It will take a partner who is willing to go slow and communicate. As discussed above, starting with a finger or two before gradually moving to a larger anal toy or penis is recommended for all beginners.

We have some great anal toy recommendations that are just right for any anal sex experience.

One of our top choices for anal toys, are anal plugs that come in sets with 2-3 different sizes. This way you and your partner can adjust the size of the butt plug so that the anus can slowly adapt to larger and larger things penetrating it. Dildos are also great for anal sex, and in preparing a partner for anal sex. Finding a hands-free dildo is always a great option. Always ensure that there is a flared base to help prevent the item from getting stuck in the anal cavity.

We also recommend some restraints, which help spread a partner’s legs such as an Under Bed Restraint or Spreader Bar. We also think a door swing can be great for positioning and restraining.

How to Reach Peak Pleasure

Understand that anal sex is a great way of receiving pleasure. There are several great pleasure zones within the anal cavity that provide ecstasy for any person. Focus on finding the right spot(s) for your partner.

In addition, you should always look for secondary modes of stimulation for your partner such as nipples, vagina and/or clitoris. Vibrators of all kinds can be used on the vagina and clitoris, and the nipples as well. Let’s also not forget about the perineum, which can provide significant pleasure when massaged, pressed, or when using a vibrator or suction vibrator.

In addition, restraining and engaging in BDSM can add additional satisfaction to one’s anal sex experience. BDSM can increase pleasure and be a significant stress and anxiety reducer. In 2013, the International Society for Sexual Medicine published a study on the Psychological Characteristics of BDSM Practitioners. Researchers discovered that people engaging in BDSM are not impaired psychologically, and were better adjusted than those who do not engage in BDSM.

“The study subjects in the BDSM group felt more secure in their relationships and had an increased sense of well-being. They were more conscientious toward others, more extroverted, and more open to trying new experiences. They also had decreased anxiety and were less sensitive to others' perception.”

Repeat Step #1

Remember that the first step was open and honest communication. This should never change. Talking with your partner and understanding what your partner needs is the most critical part to an amazing experience with anal sex. Learn your partners likes and dislikes, make it better the second time, and each time after that….. ENJOY!