Using sex toys alone might feel perfectly fine (or rather, incredible!), but trying to add a sex toy into the bedroom with your partner can feel a little scary. The prospect of even talking with your partner about sex and your sexual desire in the first place can seem daunting for some people. So, if you feel like you’re one of these people and you want to add sex toys into the mix with your partner but you’re not sure how to navigate the topic, you should read ahead!
In this article, we’re going to be giving you a partnered sex toy 101 so you can get to know exactly how to start using sex toys with your partner. As well as telling you how you can introduce sex toys into your relationship, we’ll also be telling you about the most common sex toys for partnered sex, as well as giving you the low down on the best toys currently on the market.
So, buckle up and get ready to dive into the world of sex toys and sexual partners!
The Most Common Sex Toys Partners Use Together
Whether you simply want to know what other people are using or you’re keen to find some inspiration in the world of partnered sex toys, look no further! Here are the most commonly used sex toys that people use with their partners! But remember, you can look outside of these toys and explore the world of toys with your partner too.
Cock rings are rings that vibrate. They are designed to be worn around the base of the penis in order to help maintain hard, long-lasting erections. However, they can also provide clitoral stimulation and increase the feeling of penetration for both partners.
Anal Plugs and Beads
Although anal plugs and anal beads aren’t technically shared sex toys, but they are commonly used during partnered sex. People often think that butt plugs and anal beads are similar, but they’re not!
Butt plugs, as the name suggests, are plugs that you put into your butt - they are supposed to stay there for a while and not be moved. They have a teardrop shape and a wide base. Anal beads are a long, thin, beaded toys that are supposed to be inserted and removed to stimulate the nerves at the entrance of the anus.
Couples vibrators are a pretty new type of toy on the sex toy scene - clearly partnered toys are becoming more popular, yay! These types of vibrators are intended to pleasure both partners. In a heterosexual relationship, the large part of the vibrator is worn inside the woman, and the other part stimulates the clitoris. The male partner can still penetrate the woman whilst she is wearing the vibrator, and they can benefit from the vibrations too.
Clitoral Suction Toys
Clitoral suction toys are becoming increasingly popular since people are becoming more aware of the fact that a large majority of women can only orgasm with added clitoral stimulation. These toys create airflow and apply small amounts of pressure to stimulate the clitoris. Clitoral suction toys are great for foreplay and oral sex but can also be used during penetration too!
Sex swings aren’t technically sex toys, they’re popular sex accessories amongst couples. Sex swings are, as the name suggests, swings that people use during sex to improve their overall sexual experience and pleasure. Although there are different types of sex swings out there, a typical sex swing hangs from a ceiling or over a door. The person that is receiving penetration will often be the person to sit in the swing, and the person penetrating them will stand or use the swing too to support them.
Also, not technically a sex toy, bed restraints and cuffs are popular sex accessories! Bed restraints help to tie down a partner during sex, with both wrist and ankle restraints to tie them fully down. Cuffs, whether handcuffs or ankle cuffs, are singular cuffs rather than full bed restraints, and a person to be cuffed in a way that they see fit, as well as outside the house!
Our Guide To Trying Sex Toys With Partner
Now you know all about the different types of toys that people commonly use with their partners, you’ll probably have a few ideas and be ready to introduce sex toys into your life! So, here is our guide to trying sex toys with your partner...good luck!
Bring Up The Topic of Sex Toys
One of the best ways to first introduce sex toys into your life is by simply talking about the topic of sex toys. Whether you bring up the fact that you read an article (hint, this could be that article!), or you say that a friend was talking about sex toys with you, simply bring up the topic of sex toys and see how your partner reacts. Their reaction to this topic will help you deal with it when you want to tell them that you’re interested in using toys with them. In addition, it’ll may lead onto the talk of using sex toys together.
Talk About Using Sex Toys With Your Partner
Once you’ve brought up the topic of sex toys (or not if you’re brave!), it’s time to speak to your partner honestly about the fact that you want to bring sex toys into the bedroom. Make sure the conversation isn’t leaning towards you telling your partner that they’re bad at sex, but rather that you are suggesting adding sex toys into the bedroom to increase the pleasure for both of you.
Open Up Talking About Sexual Desires and Needs
Feeling the urge to add toys into your sex life with your partner is most likely because you have specific sexual desires and needs, and the subject of your sexual desires and needs is incredibly important to voice with your partner.
Try to be open and honest with your partner about what you need during sex. For example, if you’re a woman, you might want to talk to your partner about how they need to stimulate your clitoris in order for you to feel pleasure and reach climax (this is common!). So, simply sit down with your partner and be honest with them about that! It’s also important to listen to the sexual desires and needs of your partner, so ask them about what they need too.
If you're looking for way to talk to your partner about sexual desires like fetishes and kinks we also have you covered HERE.
Shop For Sex Toys Together
Shopping for sex toys together will not only bring the two of you closer sexually and help you choose a toy(s) that suits you both, but it also allows you to explore new areas of sex together. While you’re browsing (Alora products hopefully!), you might come across something that you’re both keen on trying and then you can explore further, grow your collection of toys, and have some more fun with your sexuality.
Use Your Toys For The First Time Together
Once you’ve ordered your toy(s) and they’ve arrived, it’s time to try them out! You and your partner might be a little hesitant initially, but as long as you set the mood, relax, and become aroused with each other, you’ll feel more excited about trying the toy out. Just make sure that you practice consent - consent has to be practiced explicitly in order to the experience to be sex rather than assault... this is incredibly important.
Masturbate Separately (and together!) With Your Toys
Even though you have bought your toy(s) to use with your partner, both of you should use them to masturbate! Masturbating with your toys separately can help you both to explore your own sexuality further and help you to become more comfortable with the toy. You can also masturbate together - this is a whole lot of fun, especially when toys are involved! However, if you’re sharing toys, just make sure that you clean them after each person uses them to reduce the risk of infection.
Use Remote Controlled Toys Out and About
Although you might not be able to get busy in public with your partner, the use of remote-controlled sex toys can make for some really interesting time out and about with your partner. You can simply pop the remote-controlled toy into the pants of the partner who’s looking for stimulation, and the other partner can tease them by controlling the toy!
Our Recommended Sex Toys To Use With Your Partner
If you’re looking for some wonderful toys to use with your partner, here are a few that we recommend.
If you’re into butt stuff…
The Alora Butt Plug Vibrator/Prostate Massager is a discreet, fully waterproof, silicone toy that has 3 speeds, 6 modes, and has a remote control that works from up to 30 feet.
The Alora Stainless Steel Butt Plugs are jewelled end butt plugs that are available in either small, medium, or large, and can either be purchased individually or as a set.
The Alora Prostate Massager is a fully waterproof, dual-action technology p-spot, g-spot, and clit vibrator with 9 different pleasure modes, and made from body-safe silicone.
If you’re a vulva owner…
The Alora Rabbit Vibrator
The Alora Rabbit Vibrator is a fully waterproof, medical-grade silicone rabbit vibrator that has 9 vibration modes, and dual-action technology for G-spot and clitoris stimulation.
The Alora Clitoris Suction Vibrator is a sleek, fully waterproof suction toy made from body-safe silicone. The toy features 5 varying intensity levels that can take you from soft kissing to intense oral simulation. Find out why the Alora Clit Vibrator is on Glamour's list of Favorite Sex Toys.
If you’re looking for sex accessories…
The Alora Under Bed Restraints are sleek restraints made from medical-grade safe material. The restraints can easily fit under any mattress and on any size bed. They also have four premium, velour bondage cuffs for comfort.