Bondage for Beginners: Introduction to Bondage!

Updated: Jun 14


Introduction to Bondage and Bondage for Beginners. And An Introduction to BDSM
Introduction to Bondage: Bondage For Beginners!

Thinking about giving bondage a go? Maybe you’re wanting to spice up your sex life? Or perhaps you’re looking to dip your toes into BDSM? Well, you’re in the right place!


First, before we go any further, let’s set the record straight! There’s far too much judgment out there about the bondage and BDSM community, with a lot of people assuming that bondage is only engaged in by people who are unusually kinky, and that it’s all about getting beaten up in the bedroom.


This kind of description is not only completely wrong, but it paints an unfair and discriminatory picture of bondage and the people that engage in it. So, if you’re intrigued, the first thing we want to tell you is that it’s absolutely OK to be into bondage or to want to give it a try. In fact, the truth is, it’s amazing that you’re exploring your sexuality, and we’re here to help inform and empower you in your exploration of bondage and the world of BDSM.


Now we’ve cleared that up, it’s time to get to it! This article is packed with information about bondage sex for beginners, bondage tips for beginners, and even self-bondage for beginners!


So, if you’re looking for an introduction to BDSM or an introduction to bondage (which yes, are not the same thing, but we’ll touch more on that later!), you’re in the right place.



What is BDSM?


BDSM is used to describe a selection of specific sexual practices, including bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism, and masochism.


Although that might sound like a lot of information, don’t panic! You don’t have to do it all in one day, in fact, you don’t have to do anything at all, and there aren’t any specific rules (apart from consent, which we will be talking about later on!) - you can dip your toes in the BDSM water and see what works for you (and your partner or partners) and what doesn’t.


If you are interested in BDSM, think of it as a world of interesting possibilities and ideas, some of which might be for you! As somatic psychologist and sex therapist Holly Richmond, PhD says, “BDSM offers a world of freedom to play, experiment, and allow someone else to take the reins—at your consent”.


Bondage is a great place to start and where people normally tend to get acquainted with the world of BDSM. So, let’s talk about bondage!


What Is Bondage?


In our article, “What Is Bondage?”, we take a much more in-depth look at what bondage is, but the basis of sexual bondage is that one partner plays a dominant role and the other partner is submissive, with the dominant partner doing the restraining and the submissive being the one that is restrained.


Bondage often includes impact play, sensory deprivation, physical body restriction, and head restriction. Common toys used in bondage include bed restraints, blindfolds, paddles, whips, sex swings, gags, and chastity belts.



But, let’s not get too ahead of ourselves! First, how do you start wading into the world of BDSM, and bondage in particular?


Your Guide To BDSM and Bondage For Beginners


Get Educated


If you’re intrigued about BDSM, the first thing you need to do is educate yourself. Of course, this article will help you with this, as will our entire adult sex-ed blog (yes, take a look at our other articles), but you should read around!


Take a look at other platforms, join BDSM online communities, read BDSM forums, talk to your friends about BDSM, and see what you think about it all. Avoid watching porn in the BDSM niche unless properly accurate and ethical, because the BDSM shown in porn is normally extremely graphic and forceful - it will most likely put you off!


Think About What Turns You On


Although it’s great (and obviously recommended to get read around BDSM), don’t get too sucked in to what other people love about BDSM or what turns them on. Think about why you’re drawn to BDSM, what parts of it interest you, and what turns you on in general.


If you’re still unsure, bondage, especially light bondage, is a great place to start and where people normally tend to get acquainted with the world of BDSM.


Talk About It With Your Partner(s)


Whether you have a long term partner or partners (preferred when trying BDSM due to trust), or you’ve just started to date someone, it’s important to voice your interest in BDSM. You might feel nervous to talk to your partner about trying BDSM, but sexual exploration in a relationship is important and you should be able to talk openly and frankly about your sexual desires.


Sit down with your partner and do your best to be completely honest with them. Tell them why you want to try BDSM and what you’d like to try, as well as assure them that you’re completely open to hearing however they feel about your thoughts and you want to hear about their sexual desires too.



Try Light Bondage


If your partner is keen on trying out some of your BDSM or bondage desires, you might want to try light bondage to begin with. If you’re wanting to give bondage a go, the best thing you can do is try out light bondage. Think handcuffs, blindfolds, and gentle spanking (with the hand). Trialling light bondage allows you to get a feel for what you like and want more of, and what you definitely don’t want to take further.

Practice Explicit Consent With Your Partner


The most important part of any kind of sexual experience is consent.


Sex with consent = sex. Sex without consent = assault.


When you’re engaging in any type of BDSM activity, the most important thing you need to do is practice explicit consent with your partner. Of course, it goes without saying that you should only engage in BDSM activities with someone that you properly trust.


What you’re going to do has to properly discussed, agreed on, then consent has to be explicitly said and heard by both partners, and then reiterated throughout sex.


There’s great importance in reiterating consent throughout sex, especially when practising BDSM and trying new, potentially dangerous (if not taken seriously) things in the bedroom.



Pick A Safe Word


Safewords are incredibly important when engaging in BDSM, and you and your partner should pick and agree on a safe word that either of you can use when you feel uncomfortable with what you’re doing, if you’re physically concerned, or if you need help.


Safewords are important because a lot of the time when people engage in BDSM, they put on a persona or engage in role-play, meaning the words like “no” or “stop” are often used to enhance the experience and stay in character.


At any time either of you feel uncomfortable and say the safe word, you have to stop what you’re doing immediately and check on each other mentally and physically.



Add Toys To Enhance The Experience


Bondage, BDSM, and sex as a whole can be enhanced with the use of sex toys. Particular toys are obviously linked to BDSM experiences and may in some cases be essential to BDSM, for example, handcuffs, whips, sex swings.


However, other sex toys such as vibrators, butt plugs, and dildos can also enhance your experience.


Self-Bondage May Also Be Exciting For You


Self-bondage is the act of restraining yourself for your own erotic pleasure, alone. Self-bondage for beginners can a tricky one to juggle because it can be a lot riskier than engaging in bondage with a partner. In fact, bondage should typically only be practiced with a partner unless you’re very experienced.


However, if you do want to engage in self-bondage, you need to follow some ground rules: