What is An Orgasm? Can't Orgasm? Learn How to Have an Orgasm & Advice For Those Struggling to Cum!

Updated: Jun 14

Struggling to Orgasm? We have some tips to getting you cumming.

Struggling to have an orgasm can be really frustrating. We know a lot of us suffer from this, and we’re here to make having an orgasm become a reality. And a reality that keeps on cumming and cumming and cumming!

STEP 1: Relax

The first step in the process to cumming is to simply relax your mind. Relaxing your mind means putting zero pressure on yourself or partner(s) to make you orgasm. Instead of focusing on the end goal, you should focus on all the sensations you are experiencing. Your sensations can be physical and emotional. These sensations are all a part of the arousal process.

STEP 2: Tighten and Flex

While the first step in the process is to relax your mind, the next step in the process is to begin to contract the muscles in your body that help induce mind blow orgasms. Contraction and muscle tension is important in these areas because it creates blood flow to the arousal areas like the vagina. As you’ll see more below, this increased blood flow is responsible for all of your orgasms. Exploring aspects of BDSM & bondage can also provide enhanced sensations throughout your sexual experience.

The muscles that contract are centered around the lower pelvis. These are the muscles we use when choosing to start and stop urinating. Women often use exercises to strengthen their pelvic floor with Kegel exercises. Specially designed balls can be used as weights to help strengthen this area.

STEP 3: Try Different Kinds of Orgasms With Varying Stimulation


We started with the clitoris because there is nothing more famous for getting women off than great clitoral stimulation to induce an orgasm or two or three. The clitoris has thousands of extremely sensitive nerve endings. When stimulated the clitoris begins to swell due to increased blood flow to the area, as a symptomatic response to your sexual arousal. This build up is only released with a mind-blowing orgasm.

The Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy has identified multiple types of clitoral strokes that can help a person orgasm. The most important part of experiencing a clitoral orgasm is to try it out yourself. Try to use circular strokes, up and down, right to left and anything else that may feel good for you. In addition, clitoral stimulation toys that create a suction-like experience are wonderful tools. You can also try bullet vibrators that solely target the clitoris, or you can identify a vibrator that also has a mechanism that simultaneously stimulates the clitoris like Alora's Suction Vibrator.

Once you’ve identified what feels good for you, you’ll be able to let your sexual partner know how to awaken your inner cumming goddess.


Everyone talks about the elusive G-Spot. Well the G-Spot is actually not as hard to find as you may think. Just follow these steps to find your G-Spot. The G-Spot is located on the anterior wall on the inside of the vagina about halfway before the cervix. The G-Spot will feel slightly different than the rest of the vagina. This area is often described as a more “spongy” texture with slight bumps on it (Imagine the feeling when sliding your finger across the taste buds on your tongue).

When rubbing or pushing against the G-Spot, blood begins to swell in the area as the muscles around it contract. This enables the sexual arousal that induces many mind-bending orgasms.

Deep Penetration

Deep Penetration is often thought of as painful by many women. We’re here to tell you how pleasurable it can be. There are several spots located near/behind a woman’s cervix that have extremely sensitive nerve endings. These nerve endings, create muscle contraction around the and induce significant blood flow to the area, and will deliver a great cum session.

To help locate the spot that creates the “Deep Penetration Orgasm” we’ve created a step-by-step guide. First, the vagina must be filled to completion. Secondly, aim for the higher-back-end of the cervix with either the sex toy, finger or penis. These steps will help you reach your Deep Penetration Orgasm.


“I can cum from anal sex alone?” is a question we get asked a ton. The answer is a resounding yes! Although, as we discussed at the beginning of this article, you have to be able to relax first. This will be the most difficult impediment for most women. Before you give it a try, be sure to check out our article on A Beginner’s Guide To Anal Sex.

The reason a person can orgasm from anal sex is because the rectum almost directly touches the pelvic floor muscles in the body. Thus, the rectum and vagina will share many of the same muscles. This is the integral part here. By sharing muscles so closely, when one muscle group contracts, the other close by muscle group can be induced to contract as well. Thus, anal sex can create a great orgasm by creating that blood flow through contraction of shares muscles.

For double penetration, you can use a butt plug, while enjoying vaginal sex .


Just like the vagina and anus, each human nipple has thousands of nerve endings. A woman’s nipples tend to be more sensitive based on a variety of factors. As we’ve discussed previously, the sensitive nerve endings create muscle contraction throughout the body and an extremely pleasurable sensation when touched. Thus, when your nipples are played with in a way you like, the vagina will respond because the brain uses the same wiring system for these zones. Try Alora's Suction Vibrator on your nipples to experience the same feeling as someone licking, kissing, and sucking on your nipples.

Combined Clitoris & `Vaginal Orgasm

We’ve talked about many of the ways you can induce an orgasm. When stimulating more than one of the sensitive zones we discussed, you will create an even more intense orgasm called a "dual orgasm". Think about combining as many of these as you can handle. Because the more stimulation to each of these areas, the more incredible the orgasm will be. Alora's Devil Rabit Vibrator provides simulatenous stimulation to the clitoris and g-spot to help you experience a dual orgasm.

One great way to create easy access to each zone is by sitting in a sex swing. Sitting in a door sex swing will allow all of your sensitive cum inducing zones be accessible to a partner to touch. If you like to try to hit as many of these cumming zones, check out Alora’s Door Swing.

Still Struggling to Orgasm? Next steps in the process to having an orgasm.

Some women may have a medical condition that makes it difficult to orgasm. Women who struggle with this condition should seek medical advice. Two great options to discuss with your doctor are over the counter creams that increase sensitivity and an FDA approved device, Eros.

Let us know some of your tricks for having amazing orgasms.

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